Excerpts from unanswered cover letters

"I fondly remember tying up the phone line with my 56k modem to defend against Zergling rushes on the River Styx."

"I also freelanced for Spin Magazine, Philadelphia Weekly, and Gawker.com, covering everything from Pandora.com’s Music Genome Project to the fashion styles of affluent pre-teens in Manhattan."

"I’ve microphoned Yo-Yo Ma’s cello and discussed politics with Henry Rollins."

"I spent much of my time strumming plastic guitars and hitting taiko drum sets."

"So when you see Shaun White breakdancing in mid-air, remember that he’s a professional. He’s called “the flying tomato.” There’s a video game with his name on it. Even if you live atop a snow-covered mountain, do not try this at home."