"I am Torq. This is my heart."

It was junior year of college when I first heard the line. Part of a spoken-word intro by a few members of the band Stars, I laughed. Whereas most bands try to avoid being labeled "precious" or "emo," here was a band that put it in your face. They were tempting, even daring you to deal with it. A few years later, I would have Torq (short for Torquil) on the phone, and I found myself hanging on to his every word. Torq was far from precious, far from emo, and he wasn't even that interested in discussing his music. No, he was primarily concerned with railing against George W. Bush and the fact that people continually told him he couldn't rail against George W. Bush because he was from Canada when he's actually from New York.

Now why am I telling you this?

I'm looking for what I will call "The Torq Ratio." I will call it that because this new space is essentially my heart. (Please don't vomit. Read on.) A lot of thoughts enter your head when you live with your parents, are unemployed, and haven't lived in a place for seven years. With all that in mind, I will try my best to not be precious, not be emo, and I won't mention the lame duck president because, well, he's a lame duck president.

I will now make a short list of things I will be covering here:
1. Things my parents say or do (trust me on this one)
2. My possible/maybe/yikes new career path of becoming Donald Draper
3. Interactions with the girl next door who everyone said would grow up to be hot and is actually hot now but I haven't spoken to her since 1998 so now it's awkward even though it shouldn't be so all it comes down to now is me waving when we check the mail at the same time because she also lives at home now that she's done with college and applying to medical school.
4. The fact that I ironically became an otaku only after leaving Japan.
5. How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Unemployment

Lastly, one of the main reasons I'm starting this page is to protect my brain from death. If I don't post 5 times a week, leave an angry comment. It will be harder than writing from Japan because getting a haircut is no longer a journey. I am Lo. This is my start.