Things My Parents Say #1

I got home late last night after seeing my friend Farbod downtown. On the kitchen table was a photo of a male and female in formal wear. The picture was on top of an envelope. My thought process went something like this:

1. Wow, that's a photo of a couple I went to prom with.
2. Is it a wedding invitation?
3. They are getting married?
4. Who opened my mail?

I lifted the photo to look at the envelope. It was blank, so I canceled out my thoughts 2-4.

Enter father, stage right.
Him: Do you know who those people are?
Me: Yeah, it's a friend from high school.
Him: Which one is your friend?
Me: The girl.
Him: *Pauses, smiles* She's pretty. Who is she?
Me: Where did you get this?
Him: It was in a drawer I keep of your stuff. How did it get there?
Me: No idea.

Now this interaction alone might not seem like much, but my parents have had a piercing interest in any girl I have spoken to since the age of 12. And if it's a name they haven't heard, they make sure to find out if it's male or female. Yes, Tom is my new male friend. Jennifer is a new female friend. No, she is not my girlfriend. I can have friends who are not my gender. Why isn't she my girlfriend? I don't know. I'm sorry. I will work on that. I will ask her why she is not my girlfriend.

If I were to wager a guess, my father felt this photo was worth holding onto for the last 7 years because there was a female in it. No, she's still not my girlfriend. I don't know where she is. I'm sorry. Maybe I'll see her at the reunion.